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Mindfulness – A blog by East Cheshire Hospice’s Lindsay Dobson

Today’s little exploration of mindfulness is about how we worry.

Lets start by just breathing,  Id like you to just notice your normal breath…

After doing that for a few breaths, Id like you to count, how many seconds you breath in for, how many you breath out for.  No right or wrong,  we will all be different (its interesting to notice how we will breath at different speeds at different times of day or activity also) and its no completion.  Just notice.  Once you have done this for a few breaths, as long as you can stay relaxed and its not a strain, add a second to the outbreath.  If thats comfortable and not a strain add another second to the out breath.  Just the out breath,  keep the in breath the same.  Keep doing this until you reach a point that feels like the out breath is comfortably longer than the in breath.  We don’t want to go so far as it being a strain though, as that takes away the benefits.  Breath like that for as long as you like before carrying on reading.

How do you feel now?  Hopefully nicely relaxed, because when our out breath is longer than the in breath, it sends a signal to our brain, that we can relax now, we are safe.

So from there, let me explore with you the idea we have two modes of mind (we actually have many, but these are the two I want to explore today J ) thinking and sensing.  They are a bit like a see saw in that when we are in thinking mode, and that is the one at the top of the see saw, sensing is less active and at the bottom, and vice versa, they can both be online and working at the same time but they do balance each other out.

So what are they, well thinking is the analytical part of your mind, the planning, working out, busy busy thoughts part of your brain.  Its the bit that talks to you – or it does me anyway, that incessant voice in my head telling me all about my day!

Sensing is the part we just used to to the breathing, its the part that knows how the keyboard feels under your fingertips, or the feel of sun on your skin.  Its how we notice our shoulders are tight, or the difference between grass or sand under our toes.  Its the physical feeling part of the body.

We can use this to our advantage, as the more we can drop into sensing the quieter the mind becomes as thinking is less active.

Whilst thinking can do wonderous and amazing things, it can also be the part we get stuck in when we are worrying and scared.   Its also the part that can be a bit of a nuisance when we are trying to sleep!!   Especially right now, when there is so much to worry about, but our sleep is so important!!

Let me take you through a scenario….

Your collegue from work walks past you in the street, you say hi.  She does not respond and just keeps walking….. What do you think?

Well we may all think many different things so lets look at two examples;

We think bloody hell, ignorant miss, what did I do to upset you!!!

We feel angry, upset (as perhaps deep down we are also worried we did to something to upset her and wondering what it was!)

We get tense in our body

We perhaps avoid her at work next time and act a little cool

So same thing happens, but this time we think, “oh gosh, is  she ok, she didn’t even seem to hear, I wonder what has happened and if she is alright?”

We feel compassion, concern for our friend

Our body softens

We go after her or we text her to see if she is ok

So same situation, but our mind makes up a very different story about it, dependent on many factors.  The thing is, its a great strategy to be able to fill in missing bits of information when we need to, but, the tricky bit is, sometimes we don’t even notice the information was missing, and presume that we are definitely right and it does not cross our mind, that it could be giving us false conclusions!

We can then easily get caught in over thinking mode – maybe it stays with us all day!!  What did I do to upset her, was it that time at work when i went on my break and didn’t tell her, what it x y z , has she heard about me moaning about her, and on and on and on, it might even start to catastophize – oh gosh works going to be awful now, she wont talk to me, what if everyone else takes her side……

When actually for all we know, her relatives just rang to say someone is sick and she  was preoccupied wondering about how she felt about that!!

By bedtime its become so hard to let go off, we find it hard to sleep!!

So one thing we can do is remember that our mind is not always right!!

The other is anything that takes us deeper into the sensing mode!

That might be anything, I love doing my yoga practice to help me do that, or a swim feeling the water on my skin, a walk allowing myself to really feel each step, and the sun on my face, wind in my hair – another lovely way, especially at bedtime is do a progressive muscle relaxation like Gill has on the wellbeing hub, or one of the yoga nidras Ive recorded.

Because the more we drop into our body and use sensing mode the quieter the mind becomes

Its very human right now, to find ourselves stuck in thinking and worrying mode, but the more we practice dropping down into sensing the more we strengthen that ability and the easier it gets.  Take gentle care and enjoy some time in sense mode today.

Mindfulness – A blog by East Cheshire Hospice’s Lindsay Dobson

Sometimes our mind seems to have a will of its own. It’s like a monkey jumping from tree to tree, as it won’t stay focused on one thing, but swings uncontrollably through many emotions.

Now, at this time, for example we may feel many many things, fear, anger, sadness, frustration, how damn unfair it is, gratitude, love, compassion, loss, back to fear… and on and on it swings.

I know sometimes my frustration, stress, anger, fear can all become to feel a bit like an elephant that’s trampling all the little new growths of gratitude under its unstoppable feet!  Or my happiness feel like a butterfly that’s flitting around everywhere, smelling the flowers but so so fragile.

Right now, all that is so human, the world is scary, and there is so much grief and loss, and of course, I certainly know some people who seem to think none of this applies to them….. and when you are dealing with the very real consequences of that, how human to then feel incredibly angry !!!

But science has shown us, those emotions, like anger and fear, compromise our immune systems, and we all want that working at its best right now!!

But how do you stop and unstoppable elephant?

The answer is perhaps you can’t!

But how much energy to you expand trying?  The more we try to stop something, the more energy we give it.  Energy our immune system could be using!!

So, what can we do?

We can practice kindness with ourselves!

Do you ever watch wildlife documentaries?   Have you noticed how, in those, nobody interferes, they let nature unwind as its going to.  They don’t jump out and say run zebra run, that lion’s going to eat you!!!  And try to stop the lion.  They watch, observe, don’t judge and let nature run its course.

That is how we can be with our emotions.  Put another way, if it’s raining outside we don’t go out and shout at the storm to stop! (Well my kids might, but they just get wet! And it keeps on raining anyway!)  sometimes we do go dance in the rain, but sometimes we shelter inside and just wait for it to pass. Our emotions are a bit like that, some we might dance in others we just ride it out.

That way we don’t feed the emotion our energy.  As emotions are just energy in motion. So the more energy we give it by fighting it, the longer it may last!!

So, perhaps we can be like the wildlife presenter, we can watch with kindness and curiosity as our emotions unfold, observe them and don’t judge them.

Close your eyes

Notice your feet on the floor, the feel of them, the weight of them, how the ground is holding them safe

Let that awareness travel up your legs, slowly slowly, until it reaches your seat on the chair, again just pause, notice the weight of you on the seat, let the awareness travel to your belly, notice your belly as it moves with your breath.

After a few moments, just let your awareness be with how you feel right now, any thoughts, any feelings,….. be curious – what is it like, how does it feel in your body, what is your mind caught up in.  Try to be like that wildlife commentator, notice, but don’t judge, let nature take its course.

If it ever becomes too much, go back to feeling your breath, or your feet on the floor.  Take your time.  Take as long or as short as you need.

I like to think of it as if I’m a boat in a storm, I can’t stop the storm, shouting at it and fighting it will just tire me out. So I drop anchor into my feet and body and breath and ride it out.  Remembering it’s natural and normal to feel all these ways, especially right now.

Remember it’s ok to feel however you are feeling and it will pass.  We will ride out this storm and yes we will be changed by it, and we will need the support of each other afterwards to perhaps get our ship all fixed up again.  But for now, we can look after ourselves by being kind and gentle and riding out whatever emotions are rocking our boat.

“The heart of man is very much like the sea, it has its storms, it has its tides and in its depths it has its pearls too”
― Vincent van Gogh, The Letters of Vincent van Gogh

There is peace, even in a storm.

Mindfulness – A blog by East Cheshire Hospice’s Lindsay Dobson

We are living through something none of us have ever experienced before. Through a time when fear and grief as well as kindness and compassion has brought the world together. It’s impossible to avoid or ignore this, especially when you’re working with those who need your care, or you yourself are at home, due to the risk you face.

Whilst I cannot be there in person and can only imagine the challenges you face right now.  I thought I would offer some of the things that have helped me face challenges.  Mindfulness is one I know most of you are aware I use daily to help me through.

So if it will be of help, I will offer what I know as some short bitesize practices you can use at home or work, at any time that emotions or life starts to feel to overwhelming to deal with and there is nobody to turn to. Mindfulness cannot take away our fear or grief, but it can help us hold it gently and learn to walk with the weight of it. It can also help us get back in touch with our compassion, when we are so worn down by grief that it threatens to consume us.

It sounds like something amazing, and for some it can be. The research has shown, we can change our brains by how we think and what we do. Whenever we practice a relaxation or choose to sit with our feelings and thoughts, we change our brain. By the simple act of reading this, your brain will respond and change and be a slightly different brain than when you started. We know the more you do something, the stronger the connections in your brain will become. So the more you meditate or practice mindfulness the stronger you get at it and the more it will help.  So practice when you’re calm, so that when things are chaos, it’s there as a ‘go to’. What we practice becomes permanent, so practice peace and kindness with yourself and that is what you will become, not only for yourself but for others. But it’s hard – our brains are biologically wired to respond to fear and threat so that is what we will go to, as a matter of survival.  So we have to take the time out, to practice calm, to anchor it in our being so it’s there when the brain starts to tell us to panic!

I wanted to start by exploring the fact our body and our brain are intricately linked. How we act, how we stand and move and how we breath impacts how we feel and think and vice versa. In fact, science has shown us that one of the fastest and most efficient ways of calming down is through our breath. Sometimes we cannot force our mind to stop the thoughts that race through it, or calm down just because we tell it to. But, we can change our breath. When we are scared how do we breathe? Just take a moment, perhaps to check in right now with how you are breathing.

When we are anxious our body needs oxygen fast, we breathe fast and shallow into the top portion of our lungs, the in breath is longer than the out breath – useful to know if you need to energise yourself! Big deep in breaths energise the body and brain and get it ready for action! This can help when we are tired and worn down and need that boost of energy to get us through the next bit. But what if we need to calm down? Then we invite the breath to go deeper, into the belly, and we have a longer out breath.

You can try this now;

Start by just noticing your breath again, don’t try to change it, just notice it.

Count how many seconds you breath in for and how many you breath out for.

Gradually (but only if it feels comfortable, because any effort takes us back into action mode so we want this to stay relaxed and easy) add one second to the out breath only. Until you find a comfortable rhythm where the out breath is longer than the in breath.

How do you feel after doing that for a few breaths?

So that is one little tip that might help – when you notice you’re caught in a big emotions, become aware of how you’re breathing and just take a moment to adjust it – big inhales if you need energising because you can’t get off the floor and extend the exhale gently if you need to calm and centre.

Another support I have is remembering to just be in this moment, right now, however it is. We tend to worry about the things that happened in the past, and what will happen in the future. We miss out on now, and to be honest, that’s so easy to do in our current situation! I find myself worrying about how I could have done things differently before we were sent into lock down – “should I have gone to the hospital that day”? “Was my desk tidy”, “had I done all I needed to do?” “Oh gosh, we shouldn’t have taken that walk” blah blah blah or “what if my child gets this??” “How long will be here?” “Will we miss the whole summer?” – I’m sure you can see how those thoughts just wind me up to be more anxious? Yours will be just as bad, if not worse and about so many many things. I remind myself to be grateful for this moment right now! We are safe, we are well right now with this breath it’s all ok. I can’t change the past, and the future… well I can do what I need to try to keep us safe, but then it’s out of my hands. So to breath and just be in right now.

Of course we will have moments when right now is not even ok, when its all tumbling out of control, when the oxygen is not working and things are not improving and we don’t even have time to worry about past or future and then my breath is the only thing that helps me focus on right now and what needs to be done. I take a second to feel my feet on the floor, to breath in, and let the exhale slowly extend. I allow myself to feel however I am feeling and then do what needs to be done. If I have the luxury of doing that for as long as I need to I do! I take my time to feel the floor beneath me, how it holds me up, and to focus on my exhales and let them extend, but if I don’t, just doing that for one breath or two, can bring me back to a calmer place then I would otherwise be.

But for it to help most then, we need to practice it each day. So I invite you to find a time each day, it might be a certain time and day and you might practice it for five mins or just one. It might just be when you remember, or find yourself at a loose end. But if you can spend a moment or more each day, to notice your body, your feet on the ground, the touch of a hand, to notice your breath and let the exhale extend and to focus on whatever is in front of you right now in this moment. Because every time we practice doing that, we strengthen the brain’s ability to do it, not just in moments of calm but in moments of chaos too. So that soon it becomes a reflex that when things get tough your body and brain know how to calm and centre and become your ally.

Take gentle care of yourself.

Lindsay x

The BBC crew spent a day with our nurses in the Inpatient Unit and received first hand experience of what our fantastic nurses do on a daily basis.

This extremely moving piece shows the effect COVID-19 has had day to day, but how the resilience of the team allows us to continue to provide priceless palliative care and support to those who need it.

East Cheshire Hospice is turning to virtual fundraising to try to plug a £1m hole in its finances caused by coronavirus.

We are quickly making plans for a new online fundraising campaign to make up for a severe drop in income.

The Hospice was forced to cancel a host of events because of Covid-19 and will lose around a third of the £3m income it generates annually from fundraising and donations.

Rachel Allcock, Income Generation Director, said: “This revenue loss is a huge blow but we’re determined to fight back and raise the funds needed to care for our patients.

“That’s why we’re working on an ambitious virtual fundraising campaign which people can undertake while they’re at home.”  Visit eastcheshirehospice.org.uk/virtual-challenge for details.

Meanwhile, bedside visits to patients are limited to immediate family only, charity shops have closed and many staff are working from home.

Hospice staff checking in from home for their daily coronavirus conference call.

Edna Keefe (84), who has worked in the laundry room since the Hospice opened, reluctantly went into self-isolation.

Edna briefed HR colleague Sue Adams about her role as a contingency.

Sue said: “We’re one team and always help each other out. I’ve also learned about the reception duties and the most important thing is to give the best possible care to patients and their families.

“They’re at the heart of everything we do and we’re all pulling together, even though it’s going to be a bumpy ride for a while.”

Sue Adams helping out with laundry duties.

East Cheshire Hospice has suspended some of its services and postponed fundraising events because of the Coronavirus outbreak.

The Hospice has been forced to take the drastic measures to comply with government advice to prevent the spread of the virus.

Outpatient appointments at its Sunflower Centre are suspended until further notice along with Hospice day programmes.

The Hospice will use telehealth technology to look after its patients remotely.

Meanwhile, the Hospice @Home service and inpatient wards will use extra screening questions to protect patients and staff.

Families are being asked to limit visiting whenever possible to reduce the risk of cross-infection.

Reception and ward volunteers aged under 70 are being asked to report for their normal duties.

However, all other volunteers are being requested to stay away from the Hospice for at least two weeks from when the guidelines were issued (Tue March 17).

Non-clinical staff have been set up with equipment to enable them to work from home.

The Hospice has cancelled some of its fundraising activities which is a major blow to an organisation which needs to raise £7,500 a day to keep going.

The Hospice said it is experiencing financial challenges like many other charities and has thanked its donors for their ‘continued support during this exceptionally difficult time.’

Hospice Chief Executive Karyn Johnston said: “We must adhere strictly to government guidelines while doing our utmost to ensure our patients continue to receive the best possible care.

“That care continues during this pandemic, ensuring that our patients and their families still receive the same support which is so essential during end-of-life care.

“Our patients and families have been so accommodating in these are unprecedented times and we sincerely hope these measures will have the minimum impact on all those affected.

“They have been most understanding and so too have been our supporters and volunteers. We have received many messages of support which will provide us with great strength in the challenging weeks ahead.

“During these uncertain times it’s important that our local community continues to support its local Hospice. The loss of revenue from fundraising events is a severe blow, but our expertise and care will be needed more than ever, and we sincerely hope that our supporters will help us as much as they possibly can.”

East Cheshire Hospice Chief Executive Karyn Johnston.

East Cheshire Hospice has been part of Jill Harding’s life since her late mum was a patient 18 years ago.

Jill held her wedding reception there shortly after Mary Barber was admitted. A few days later her mum died of stomach cancer, aged 58.

Jill became a volunteer and for the last decade has worked there as a health care assistant.

She said: “I always say mum’s gift to me was introducing me to the Hospice. Mum loved Matt and really wanted to see us married.”

Fellow What Women Want member Julie Barnes remembers the Hospice caring for her late mother-in-law Maureen Barnes.

Julie, a Placement Officer for Total People, said: “The Hospice were unbelievable, it was the highlight of Maureen’s week visiting the Sunflower Centre.”

Julie and Jo Millward call the numbers at disco bingo nights at Tytherington School which loyally supports the fundraisers. Julie’s mum Sheila Gilman is a staunch WWW supporter after the Hospice lovingly cared for her best friend Marlene.

Retired microbiologist Elaine Burgess runs the group’s finances. She said: “They all have marvellous ideas and I’m the sense checker and rein them in if they get carried away.

“It’s about raising funds for the Hospice, giving people value for money, having a good time and friendship. We’re all there for everybody.

“We’ve had a brilliant time and done some mad things with the odd embarrassing moment, like the belly dancer who couldn’t dance and a snake charmer with a snake the size of a worm.”

The What Women Want logo designed by artist Sarah Smith.

A glitzy night of glamour headlined by top-class song and dance is promised at our Spring Ball 2020.

The lavish evening of fine dining and live entertainment is in a special marquee at Alderley Edge Cricket Club on Friday, March 27.

Tickets cost £70 each, or £700 for a table of 10. This includes a welcome drink on arrival and a three course meal. The event starts at 7 pm, with carriages at 1 am. Dress code is black tie.

The event is organised by the committee which has staged Fashion on the Edge and previous winter balls so has great experience of such functions.

Diners will be treated to a spectacular medley of songs from The Greatest Showman performed by the A Million Dreams tribute act, comprising Toby Hinson, Kerri Leigh and Rebecca White.

The DATS Dance School will also be showcasing their skills, the group having earned rave reviews for previous appearances at Hospice balls.

To register visit eastcheshirehospice.org.uk/events/springball20/ or call 01625 433477 or email events@echospice.org.uk.

Hospice Events Manager Beth Candy said: “It’ll be a wonderful occasion and lots of our supporters have already bought tickets, but there’s still places left for anyone who wants a great night out and at the same time is supporting the Hospice.”

The DATS Dance School in action.

 

 

LEEK United’s Veronica ‘Ronnie’ McNeil gave East Cheshire Hospice (ECH) a ‘tree-mendous’ helping hand after becoming a ‘Branch Manager’ of a different kind for the day…

Ronnie, who runs the Society’s Macclesfield Branch, joined other volunteers for the Hospice’s annual Christmas Tree Collection this month (January).

Now in its 20^th year, the collection and recycling event raises vital funds for the Hospice by putting householders’ unwanted old ‘living’ festive trees to good use.

People make a donation to the ECH when they register their tree for collection, and teams toured the postcode areas in and around the Hospice picking up over 7,000 trees for shredding.

“This is the second year that Leek United has sponsored one of the collection vans, and I wanted to join them again by helping on the rounds,” said Ronnie.

“Many of the old trees we collect would otherwise end up on rubbish dumps, so this is a great, fun way to raise funds for the Hospice – one of the Society’s main charity beneficiaries – and the amazing work it does in our community.”

Each year, the Christmas Tree Collection raises over £100,000 and last year ECH reached the cumulative sum of £1million raised since the collection started.

Kate Bowmar, Corporate Fundraiser at ECH, said: “We are extremely grateful that Leek United offered to sponsor a van for our annual Christmas Tree Collection for the second year in a row, and were delighted that Ronnie volunteered to join us again.

“Every year we rely heavily on the generosity of local businesses such as Leek United to cover the cost of running the collection, meaning all donations received will go directly to supporting the Hospice.”

 

Leek United’s Macclesfield Branch Manager Veronica ‘Ronnie’ McNeil (far left) is pictured with fellow volunteers Tom Horsfield and Georgina Timson in front of the van sponsored by the Society for the tree collection.